Paige: Piper, my hair is turning white out here. Come out already.
Piper: No.
Paige: Come on, it can’t be that bad. Aww, it’s cute.
Piper: I don’t wanna be cute. I can’t believe I let you talk me into this.
Paige: Oh, your pants weren’t even buttoning anymore, come on.
Piper: Well, I could’ve gone up a size, or two. I don’t need to resort to maternity clothes. Everything is just so bright and cheery and ruffley. This thing makes me look like a…
Saleswoman: Adorable!. Absolutely adorable. I think it’s you.
Piper: Hmm, I guess you don’t know me very well, do you?
Paige: Piper.
Piper: Look, do you have anything that will go with combat boots? You know, something for the mum-to-be who kicks some ass upon occasion? You know, something in black or grey?
Saleswoman: I’ll check. Aw, motherhood.
Piper: Okay, explain to me the touching thing. Why is my stomach suddenly public property and perfect strangers are always touching me? It’s weird space invasion. Are you listening?
Paige: No, I’m not.
Piper: What’s the matter with your neck?
Paige: It’s this cramp, I’ve had it for a couple of days now.
Piper: Well, why don’t you get a massage?
Paige: Oh, yeah, I’ll pencil that in. Right between vanquishing demons and training to be your midwife. (Piper holds up an ugly pale pink dress.) No.
Piper: Well, A, I don’t need midwives because I’m delivering with a doctor not sisters. And B, you need to start taking care of yourself because you’ve actually been working harder than when you were working.
Paige: Yeah, well, someone has to pick up the slack, especially with hermit lady just laying around the house.
Piper: The hermit lady?
Paige: Yeah, Phoebe? Have you noticed she hasn’t left the house in weeks.
Piper: What do you mean? She leaves the house every morning.
Paige: No, she leaves the house to go to work. I can understand wanting a break from guys, but come on already, she’s gonna wear out the batteries.
Piper: Ah, Paige!
Paige: What? Hello? Oh, hey, Phoebe. We were just talking about you.
Piper: And your batteries.
Paige: Darryl’s at the house?
Jan 26
